just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My dick has a subreddit
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
