Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
