Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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