We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
