You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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