we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It's Friday. Sex?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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