i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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