You're a womanizer and a bitch.
oh god the rape fog is back!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
