I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
