just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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