Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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