I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
