wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
