i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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