The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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