The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
