Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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