They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
