There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
did you just send me my own nude
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
i out mim tonsoeep
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