Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
