your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
