Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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