two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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