3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
