Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
