69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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