I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
please don't ironically join a cult
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