whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
