Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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