So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
