question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
