Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize