I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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