we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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