so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
