CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
