Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
