everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
