he shaved USA in his pubs
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize