my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
