Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
