Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
