She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize