I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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