i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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