i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
