every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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