Pants 0. Shit 1.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
