Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize