please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
