You're completely useless in the revolution.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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