...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
