I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize