I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
