It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
