Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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