Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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