wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
