VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
