This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
