dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
