I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
