Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize