I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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