If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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