i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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