I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
