Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
