i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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