K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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