my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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