i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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