I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Are we still banned from the library?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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