apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
