the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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