i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
