you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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