if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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