I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
