marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
