Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
