How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He did a backflip because drugs
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
